Blurts

It is very tiring and devastating to watch the invisible film of your life plans, and knowing that you can't reach it instantly. On the other hand, this invisible film gives you more power and motivation to create, and to build the film into a visible piece of reality. It comes to the conclusion that enormous and ambitious dreams are one of the most ultimate pushers in this era.

Some people, like me for example, are so ambitious about every single thing in life. It's almost like everything that I have planned whether it is realistic or not, has to be done as soon as possible. Oh and good lord, it is very very menacing. It feels like I'm too excited for the future that I often feel like my plans are already here living beside me. That sucks.

I'm starting to write and paint like a maniac again. This brain is hard to be put to sleep for a moment. Even in sleep, I'm working. Especially in the most lucid dream. I sleep with a sketchbook by my side lately, to make it easier to jot down every single thing that I encountered in the dreamland. So that I can paint it, or write a poem, or a narrative.

After that, I discovered this person, somewhere out there, his name is as big as Modigliani in his glory years, yet I feel like I have a connection with this particular being. No name dropping. However, this person is indirectly pushing me to work harder, I don't even know why. It's almost like the Dalinian effect, but this one is more realistic in a way that the person is still alive and kicking. It's almost like I'm head over heels over an alien. Mesmerised, and quite enmeshed in a way. 

Maybe I should stop being weird right now.

Anyway, enjoy every waking moment. Stay in the present. Don't hurry. Don't worry. Listen to Black Sabbath.