Condolences

Dearest Aunt Suhyarina,

To die is such a long way to go.
The lights that appear before your eyes like flashes of thunder blinding your heart and your soul and your memory.
The wandering dead relatives with toy baloons and sheer fireworks cheering for the incoming being.
The teary eyed living relatives with their endless mourn whispering in vain.
Which way to go?
To the right? To the left?
Or keep going straight and never look back?
And your wild thoughts wander the empty air (Who will wait? Who will care?)
But no one in the white room understands your direction as much as you do.
No one in the mortuary knows the look of your utopia.
The ultimate nirvana.
So, go on....
Run to the hills, fly to Valhalla, explore the deepest pit of Atlantis, sleep on top of the faint Moon ground.
For your spirit carries on, with no regret, and I won't forget.
To die is such a wonderful journey.

16/11/1964 - 27/10/2012

Belladonna

How wonderful, how deadly, how flawless.
I have given my all to the doctors, and to the psychiatrists for taking care of my mental needs.
I have given my all to the petals of lotus for calming my restless soul.
With no expectations for them to return the favor.

I, a lost daughter of war stranded on earth.
The mightiest Valhalla, greater than Olympians.
With good looking Jotuns, and caged giants (and fallen angels and fallen angels).
I myself am still trying to survive alone. To ride off the sunset like the heroes of the gods.

For I will slay the demons inside of us. And burn and burn with the dusts.
Only to lie there in a utopia with my body facing the sky, and be free.

Home by the Sea

I dreamt of a home
Home by the sea
Surrounded by squeaking seagulls
And the warmth of the coral

I dreamt of a white sheet
Covering my eyes
As a hand leads me through the shore
Mumbling words and sonnets

I dreamt of a summer
A cold watermelon
Picnic baskets, and white sands
And a human in a perfect frame.

Outdated

The cold breeze of endless snow in Kerling
Blew the humid clouds softly
As they float upon my head.

I heard whispers, I heard stories, I heard your face
The presence of one angelic sunshine from the west
I felt it, I felt it in my chest

One week, one empty week
After you left
The dusty town for the icy forest

Lonewolf, midwest sunshine
Did they ever tell your heart
How to act?

Senja

Ada duka di sisi suka
Seperti dua burung gereja
Yang terbang berdampingan
Pesat menuju selatan dunia

Tenggelam dihisap gelapnya malam
Dan teriknya matahari senja
Tanpa rasa sesal
Yang ada hanya rasa, entah apa

Seperti duka dan suka
Yang terus berkelana
Sampai musnah jiwa raga
Melebur dalam fana

Dust and the Wind (Revisited)

There once was a boy,
whose name was Croy.
His body was created out of dust,
and he earned nobody's trust.

One day he met a girl,
who loved to swirl.
Her name was Windy,
heck she sure was not muddy.

Windy said that she loved Croy,
but she did not tell that she loved to destroy.

One day she whispered to him in gore,
"I love you, Croy. I love you forevermore."
It sickened him, and made him feel sore.

Windy twirled around Croy,
dancing to the sound of her joy.
And she twirled faster, and faster, and faster, and boom.
She swept him to his tomb.