"An aging hemlock
Covered by snow
December is almost over"Fiensh '09

"Mom, could you count how many drops of rain is falling now? I love you more than the amount of those raindrops." -Fiensh Constantine

I made that quote if it is count as quote this morning. I re-read the quote all over again and I just realized that it's kind of...good. I love my mom, whatever you say I don't care. I owe her life. And this quote explains the whole thing.

I do believe in nothing

Friday evening,
The black clouds come
The heavy rain plays
I was sleeping
Until some silver lines ask me to join the dance.

History

I was about to write you a story.

A little story about you, me, and the whole world.

About the beginning of our lives,

And how mother earth will end it.

I was about to write you a song.

A simple song about courage, faith and violence.

About the bravery of our heroes,

And how death broke their courage.

Sorry, but I ended up writing you this.

This is just a useless writing.

Talking about nothing but everything.

But in the end, you will find out what I really mean.

Pigshit

I'm fucking tired of your bullshits,

Music: Rooster - Alice in Chains

Analog

What is a dream? Is it a moving picture? Or a prediction of tomorrow?

And I'll be waiting, until death comes.

Disability

I am so sorry if I disappoint you or you or you or you,
I just need a time to act like my age, to break the rules, to curse, to get a tattoo.
I can hardly afford this ability to be a perfect kid.
So please please please don't call me, you don't need to talk to me, please please please.

It feels good to see you happy.
I don't fucking care what people say about this vibe between us.
Time.
Why don't we kill it?

The End?

Last night, I was discussing about the end with a friend of mine. Doomsday, is probably a religious term and has something to do with religion.
What is religion? A faith or belief which can be seen as a "tool" to repair our consciousness, that was probably the aim. At least I do believe that was the aim.
I myself not a religious person, if I could change the nation rule, I would like to change the religion section in ID card and leave it blank.

Back to the main topic, what is doomsday? Some people say it is the end of everything, pirates say it is the edge of the earth but is it really the end?
Our civilization was a very good one, take a look at your favorite history, either religious or cultural history.

But today, can you see a saint? A real saint like your Holy books mentioned. I can't.
There are a lot of people that simply can't understand clearly about their religion but they don't want to ask and pretending that they really understand. I really hate it when a so-called religious person blame other religions, what for? Is his/her religion is the best one? If he thinks yes, where did he know? Did god phone him and discuss about it? No. When I studied about religion years ago, I asked my teacher bout where the heck is god and where he came from. My teacher snapped at me and told me that I did a very sinful thing and god doesn't like it. I was only nine y/o that time.

Current civilization is a heck and for me, Doomsday is the end of this bad civilization and is the beginning of a fresh new one, a way better one.
It is a "filter" to pick which one is best enough to continue this world to the golden age so that the world will finally achieve the main goal, the term "Beautiful world"

The end is just the beginning and this is my personal opinion, no offense.

1967 Impala, Plymouth Road Runner and Pontiac GTO 1967.
I want them all.

I need Impala 1967 more than any other though.

Who says I hate my life? I don't.
I don't regret every each way I have picked.
Questions? I still have a lot of those in my head.

Life is great so far and perhaps, you think your life is better than mine.
No.
I still can realized my dreams and turn them into reality.
If I want.

This post sucks, I know and I don't fucking care.
I just want to pour what the heck is happening in my heart
My feelings, my guts.

I don't want to take things in negative ways, let me be a positive person.
Who can achieve all the goals.
Especially, my lifeline goal, the ultimate.

Who lives in lie? Is it you? Stop faking it.
If it is me, I just lie about my age.

I hate fakes, I even embarrassed of that fake Anya Hinmarch wallet my friend gave to me.
Especially fake people, why faking? Don't hide the truth from me.

Because I need it.
Because in the end, everyone needs it.
Because the day will finally come, at least to make me understand.

I didn't write this post.
The other person inside me did.

Final Artwork; Thank you Narda, Dysa, Georgina, Renatasya, Beby, Satshi, Om Devi and his friend and Asita.

When I was seven years old I used to imagine that I actually am a pirate who lives outside the Milky Way galaxy riding my flying ship and accidentally being stranded on earth. I didn’t learn to imagine that kind of stuff but I just did imagine it.

"Knowledge is limited but Imagination encircles the world"
I'm just being random.

Do you see the sky? The moving clouds and the air breeze? Do you feel the ground or the flowing water? The heat of the sun? Do you?

Do you close your eyes and feel the earth revolving? Do you see a light shining through your eyes? Do you?

Do you wonder why are we here? Do you wonder what is our purpose in life? Do you wonder what is death?

Do you know yourself? Do you know me? Do you know your friends? Do you know your parents? Do you know your life? Do you know your path?

My head is full of questions, there are bunch more.
Do you know why?